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Welcome to my blog!

With over 440 million blogs on the web its a small miracle we made the connection. Poetry, art, excerpts from my books and the occasional deep thought! I hope you find something you like and find yourself returning again.

 

Like most writers and artists it's great to get a little feedbacl so always feel free to leave a comment. Have a great day. Stephan.

By Stephan J Myers, Aug 30 2018 05:42AM


The Art Of Being Quiet - painting by Stephan J Myers
The Art Of Being Quiet - painting by Stephan J Myers

To really make a connection with the words take a minute or two to let the image sink in. Don't think about it just absorb it, then read the post.


A sleepless night and a mind that won’t rest. It strikes me that in thought we have lost the essence of who we are. Not content to simply be but becoming increasingly more competitive and with that comes the internal conflict we refer to as the restless mind.


Overburdened by thoughts we have created crippling complexity in our lives. Through the likes of social media, we strive to express ourselves, our intellect and creativity. Emulating role models, seeking liberation from the mundane. We talk of finding ourselves, of being true to who we are, of self-discovery. And yet so many of us slavishly follow role models and in doing so deny our true selves.


To discover one's true self is truly liberating but we have become so distracted by our increasingly connected world that freedom from distraction has become the biggest challenge we face in our daily lives. Incomplete thoughts, the lure of curated curiosity, the illusion that we control the means by which we communicate with those around us. Which of our thoughts are truly our own?


To know our thoughts are truly our own we must first be centred and free from distraction. Our minds must be calm, still. We must find the origins of original thought. No longer distracted we can then see beyond the hindrances and illusions that surround us. Free from the restless mind our natural curiosity is the seed from which original thoughts flow and in which we find our true selves.


I Think Therefore I Am Not. If you do one thing today. Dwell on the debilitating nature of distraction. The influences and flow of information, news and trivia that compete for your attention and ask yourself are you really the person you want to be.


When I wake from a sleepless night and a mind that won’t rest it is in this painting here that I find my centre and meet the day ahead without the burden of distraction.


Wishing you a wonderful day

Stephan.




By Stephan J Myers, Jul 1 2018 04:00PM

No, not physically...that would be foolhardy. But we all have the capacity to kill relationships with emotional damage. How could we do this? Apart from the obvious damage abuse does to a relationship, there are other behaviours that we could exhibit which may not be connected with abusive behaviour, but come very close. What are these things that could see the demise of a previously loving relationship?


Disrespect.

We may not think we would fall into this trap, but it could be more difficult to maintain respect between lovers than you think. The closer we become in a relationship, the more familiarity there is-which is good because closeness is a great foundation. However, we could easily slide into a habit of disrespecting the other person. How so? Merely the way we talk to our partner, and the way we perceive them. A positive mindset of our partner is a good& basis from which to enter into any communication. Otherwise, irritations and our own negative moods can creep into our language. This undermines confidence and can convince our lover that our love for them is waning.


Silent Treatment

We are not talking about space here. Everyone needs space, and each partner should allow the other this if needed. However silent treatment chokes the breath out of a relationship. When we communicate, we do not have to second guess how our partner is feeling. If we are silent we leave our partner emotionally at sea, and their perception of how we are thinking and feeling about them is likely worse than reality. Without communication, the relationship stagnates goes bad and dies. Worse still, silent treatment can be used as an implement of control or even punishment. Our partner is cowed by not knowing what is going on in the relationship, and the lack of verbal affection. Shortcut to its demise...


Blame

Let's face it, none of us is perfect! We aren't, and our partner isn't. Sometimes the fault lies with us, sometimes with our lover. But blaming and shaming signifies contempt, and communicates that we view our lover as beneath us. This scornful behaviour is toxic to both parties and undermines not only personal confidence, but confidence in the relationship.


Comparisons

No-one likes to be compared negatively to another. But when it is your lover making the comparisons it cuts even deeper. Negative comparison to a parent, for instance, tells our partner that they are not good enough, that they don't come up to expectations, and that others can please you more than they can. Comparisons to an ex can be even more damaging. After all that relationship failed-obviously for a reason. Are our similar traits going to kill this one too? These are the thoughts that may germinate in our lovers head. They begin to perceive themselves as a failure in our eyes, which may, in turn, lead to the failure of our relationship.


Breakup Threats

This is self-explanatory. It communicates that we hold our relationship as of little value, that we would walk out on it for petty reasons, and that we don't love our partner enough to show loyalty.


Respect, care and communication are instead the ways to keep our relationship alive. After all, to kill your lover would be extremely foolhardy!






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The Escape - copyright Stephan J Myers